Nobody warns you about the birthday circle.
The €0.50 Tikkie. The birthday calendar in the toilet. Dutch directness at 9 a.m. — Almost Dutch teaches you the unwritten rules of Dutch culture through hilarious real-life scenarios. And yes, there's a genuine explanation under every joke.
🛡️ Your email address, nothing else
Sound familiar yet?
One of the 150 real-life situations you'll learn to survive:
A colleague grabs you a coffee from the office vending machine. That evening you receive a payment request: €0.50. You…
Which one is right, and why? That's in the app. Every scenario ends with "Even serieus" — the genuine cultural explanation.
How it works
Learn Dutch customs, etiquette and culture — one awkward moment at a time.
-
Play real scenarios
Pick your response to true-to-life Dutch situations, from the vrijmibo to the huisarts. 150 scenarios across 10 themed worlds.
-
Get the real explanation
Every joke ends with "Even serieus" — the genuine cultural context, so you actually understand why the Dutch do what they do.
-
Watch your Dutchness rise
Earn your percentage, collect badges, and share your score. 100% unlocks your "Certified Almost Dutch" certificate.
Three worlds free, in your browser
Start with the three most painfully recognisable ones. 45 scenarios, no account needed.
Works on your phone, right now. No download, no sign-up.
Seven more worlds come with the app:
- Bikes & Traffic
- Neighbours & Home
- Weather & Small Talk
- Food & Borrel
- Holidays & King's Day
- Healthcare & Bureaucracy
- Language & Expressions
Coming to the App Store and Google Play
All ten worlds, one payment of €11.99. No subscription, no account, no ads. iOS and Android, autumn 2026.
One email, the day it launches
One email. When it launches. I'll write once, the day Almost Dutch is in the App Store and Google Play. No newsletter, no reminders, no second email.
Questions, answered directly
It's the Dutch way, after all.
What is Almost Dutch?
A playful app that teaches you the unwritten rules of Dutch culture through 150 real-life scenarios — the birthday circle, Dutch directness, the agenda cult. Made for expats and internationals in the Netherlands.
Is it free?
Three full worlds (45 scenarios) are free forever — no account, no ads, no tricks. The other seven worlds unlock with one payment of €11.99 in the App Store and Google Play.
What about my data?
Privacy-first, genuinely: I only ask for an email address, there's no third-party tracking, and removing your data takes one message. From launch, all account data will be stored in the EU. That's the whole policy, more or less.
When does it launch?
Autumn 2026, in the App Store and Google Play. The waitlist gets one email on the day it's there. It's at the top of my agenda, and you know how seriously agendas are taken here.