The survival guide for expats in the Netherlands

Nobody warns you about the birthday circle.

The €0.87 Tikkie. The one cookie rule. Dutch directness at 9 a.m. — Almost Dutch teaches you the unwritten rules of Dutch culture through hilarious real-life scenarios. And yes, there's a genuine explanation under every joke.

Free to play · No spam, just one launch email · Privacy-first, hosted in the EU
Your Dutchness rises like water against a dike. Very on-brand for this country.
✓ 45 scenarios free forever — no account needed

Sound familiar yet?

Three of the 150 real-life situations you'll learn to survive:

It's your birthday at the office. Who brings the cake?
You do. You treat them on your birthday. Forget it once and you'll hear about it for a year.
A friend sends you a payment request for €0.87. This is…
Completely normal. A Tikkie isn't stinginess — it's fairness with a decimal point. Pay within 24 hours.
Your colleague says your report is "not good." Are you fired?
No — congratulations. Direct feedback means they take you seriously. Vague praise is the real danger.

How it works

Learn Dutch customs, etiquette and culture — one awkward moment at a time.

Play real scenarios

Pick your response to true-to-life Dutch situations, from the vrijmibo to the huisarts. 150 scenarios across 10 themed worlds.

Get the real explanation

Every joke ends with "Even serieus" — the genuine cultural context, so you actually understand why the Dutch do what they do.

Watch your Dutchness rise

Earn your percentage, collect badges, and share your score. 100% unlocks your "Certified Almost Dutch" certificate.

Ten worlds of Dutch life

Start free with the three most painfully recognisable ones.

💼Work & The OfficeFREE
🎂BirthdaysFREE
💶Money & TikkieFREE
🚲Bikes & Traffic🔒
🏠Neighbours & Home🔒
🌧️Weather & Small Talk🔒
🍟Food & Borrel🔒
🎉Holidays & King's Day🔒
🏥Healthcare & Bureaucracy🔒
🗣️Language & Expressions🔒
Founding member deal · launch only

Everything. Forever. Once.

€24,99€19,99

All ten worlds, KNM exam practice, audio pronunciation and every future update — one payment, yours for life. Only during launch, only for the waitlist.

Questions, answered directly

It's the Dutch way, after all.

What is Almost Dutch?

A playful app that teaches you the unwritten rules of Dutch culture through 150 real-life scenarios — the birthday circle, Dutch directness, the agenda cult. Made for expats and internationals in the Netherlands.

Is it free?

Three full worlds (45 scenarios) are free forever — no account, no ads, no tricks. Premium unlocks the other seven worlds and the KNM exam practice mode.

Does it prepare me for the KNM inburgering exam?

Premium includes practice questions in the style of the official KNM exam (Kennis van de Nederlandse Maatschappij). To be direct — very Dutch of us — it's practice material, not official exam content.

What about my data?

Privacy-first, genuinely: we only ever ask for an email address, everything is hosted in the EU, there's no third-party tracking, and deleting your account takes one button. That's the whole policy, more or less.

When does it launch?

Soon — the waitlist gets first access and the founding member deal. It's at the top of our agenda, and you know how seriously agendas are taken here.